


Some Times It Doesn't Get Better

by Werecakes



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 01:17:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werecakes/pseuds/Werecakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU, Kili puts up with a lot and the only thing keeping him around is Fili.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Times It Doesn't Get Better

Kili leaned back in his seat. He had been having one fucking hell of a week and he was happy that it was starting to slow down. He hated being forced to drive for his friends because they couldn’t possibly get a driver’s licence, they never gave him gas money and they rarely said thank you. Even rarer was when he was driving for over 9 hours for Ori or Bofur, or whoever decided they needed his “help” that day, would get him something to drink and most the time they would get something they liked and it usually was something that he hated like some ultra light, no calories, no sugar, aspartame ridden crap that tastes like licking asphalt. He hated having to go out and take care of his mother because she just badged him until it was a subject that they both could enjoy which was pretty much, never. But he’s had to take care of her all week, by himself, having to deal with her yelling and berating him because he wasn’t the fucking perfect person like he god damn brother. Then when he was certain that she was asleep he would try to watch a show he liked to unwind and she would yell at him to turn it down until it was mute, leaving him to watch it with captions on a bad tv that blurred the fucking words.

“Hey.” Fili bumped Kili’s knee with a can of pepsi. He offered it to him, knowing his brother enjoyed cola. “They didn’t have any of your fave at the gas station, so I grabbed another cola.”

“At least you fucking know what I drink.” Kili snatched up the can and popped it open. “What the fuck ever happened to RC cola being an actual thing?”

“It went the way of the Mars Bars I’m afraid, miss that candy bar, it was better than Milkyway.” Fili sat down with his brother. He groaned as he settled.

“You okay?”

Fili waved his hand in a sign for Kili to not bother. “I’m fine.”

Kili shifted, eyeing his brother as he drank his pepsi. The blond grabbed his right leg with both hands, lifting it to settle his foot on the coffee table. He hissed and rubbed at his knee.

“You’re not fine.”

“I’m fine enough, Kili.”

“No, you’re not. Your body is destroying itself and you seriously need to stop working. Get on social security or something.”

Fili chuckled. “I haven’t worked long enough to put enough money into that, they’ll deny me.”

“You need disability, Fili. You have a heart condition, you have arthritis in every joint imaginable, the discs in your back are disintegrating, you have asthma, and are just shy of an autoimmune deficiency! You need to stop fucking working!”

“Kili! Leave Fili alone!” Dis shouted from her room. “He just came home from work and he doesn’t need you bothering him!”

Fili opened his mouth but closed it seeing the crease in Kili’s brow. Their mother was treading on thin ice. Kili was short tempered to start with, it took him years to calm down but he could still blow at any moment.

“I’m just talking to my brother! Is that okay?!” Kili shouted back. There was silence before Kili heaved a sigh and turned back to Fili. “I’m serious, Fili. You need to go to a doctor and get all written up or whatever you need to do to get social security. And if you’re worried it’s not enough money for us to live off of I have two things to remind you of; one, I’m mom’s official caregiver, the government pays me a couple of hundred for that, I can be assigned as yours as well. And two, we’ve been homeless a couple of times already, any roof over our head is a luxury.”

There was a couple of soft thuds before Dis came marching out of her room. “Stop putting pressure on your brother!”

“I’m trying to get the pressure off of him!” Kili shot to his feet.

“You leave him alone! He works hard!”

“Too hard! He’s getting fucked up!! I just want to fucking help!”

“You can help by leaving him alone.”

“Mom.” Fili tried to speak up only to be spoken over.

“Don’t you see you’re bothering him? You keep him up all night long with your music and talking to him until he only has a few hours to sleep left. You need to stop, Kili!”

Fili put a hand to his face, he could just hear the explosion that went off that was Kili’s temper. Fili was an insomniac, he kept himself up, in fact it was himself that kept Kili awake most the time. The music was always things he requested so that he could sleep to soothing sounds, and the talking was from tv shows that Fili would watch on his computer in their shared room down stairs. 

There was the simple slam of the soda can on to the coffee table, scrambling to slip on shoes as quickly as possible as Dis continued to yell at Kili that he was acting childish and that he should man up. Then there was the slam of the door as Kili stormed out.

“That boy, I’ll never understand him. He acts as if _I_ did something wrong.”

“Mom.” Fili grunted. “I love you, but you’re a blind bitch when it comes to him.”

“Wha- Fili!”

“No, I’m serious. Everyone takes fucking advantage of him and calls him stupid, selfish, and an asshole when he’s had enough. Who helped dad throughout his cancer? Because it wasn’t you, it wasn’t me, it was him. And he beats himself up every day because dad died the day he got back from the vacation _we_ made him go on. He seriously thinks that he’s the reason why dad is dead. He’s taken care of you, Balin, Dori, fuck, even old man Gandalf and Oin. He’s constantly working to help and just because he’s not smiling through every moment through the day you think he’s a selfish brat! So back off of him.”

Dis sniffed with indignance. “I was only trying to have you relax during your afternoon.”

Fili snorted. He held his tongue and slowly got up to his feet. His body was hurting pretty bad but he wasn’t about to have his brother feel as if he was the only one that gave a damn in this family.

Meanwhile Kili was storming down the empty street, he padded around his pockets and found his smashed packet of cigarettes. He pulled one out and dug out his lighter. Cupping his hand around the device he struck the lighter several times before a tiny flame spurted to life. He took in a deep breath of it and blew it out while he tucked his lighter back into his pocket. He was in the middle of gathering his hair up when he heard his name being called. He turned to the side, looking back down the road seeing Fili coming after him. He held his cigarette between his lips, and pulled the black hair tie from around his wrist and twisted it around and around until his long hair was up in a messy bun.

He took his cigarette between his fingers and smoked it like normal as he waited for Fili. His brother had a hitch in his step, the only sign he would give that he was in pain, at least, in public. Most people didn’t know that he screamed in his sleep from pain. Kili would have to do a mixture of things to ease the pain, wake him up to give him another dose of painkillers, heating pads, heated blankets, cold packs, distractions, anything to make sure his brother was as comfortable as possible. And even then, Fili never said thank you. But he was the only one that shouldn’t have to say it, Kili knew his brother loved him. He would listen to Kili rant, encourage him to play games with him, buy him books as surprises, drag him off to random camping trips to help him relax. No one else did anything like that for Kili, not even his friends. The most they ever did was help him move two or three times.

“Hey.” Fili came up, a little out of breath. He looked a bit paler than usual.

“Here.” Kili passed his cigarette to Fili to hold. “Don’t fucking smoke it, you’ll be coughing for a week if you do.” He warned before he jogged back home. 

Fili heard the shouting from where he was at. He put the cigarette to his mouth and took a breath of smoke. He could already feel it itching at his lungs but it calmed the shake of his hands. He was certain that his family didn’t know how much stress they caused by just being family, but he loved both of them, even if they were stubborn goats. Kili came out of the house, yelling something, probably a “fuck you” or “bitch”. Fili knew that Dis never held the hurtful words against Kili, she knew his temper, she knew of her own stone walling, but she never could admit it to anyone but Fili. He wished that she would try to change a bit, give his little brother some slack since he did so much for them. He kept them together, kept them sane and emotionally stable as their fucked up family could be. He took the brunt of it and when he called them names in retaliation it hurt. Kili wasn’t aware of this but Fili knew that Kili suffered from depression due to the mental and emotional abuse that he grew up with. Especially after Thorin…

Fili took another deep breath of the cigarette. He smoked the thing down to the filter which he threw to the ground and stomped it out. He held out his hand as Kili came marching up to him, face red with anger. 

“I told you not to fucking smoke it!” Kili was messing with a bottle as he walked. He dumped some pills into his palm before slapping them into Fili’s, then pulled a water bottle out from the back pocket he had tucked it away in. He watched Fili take the pain killers and drink down most the water while he went about lighting a new cigarette.

“Needed it.” Fili panted as he came up for air before drinking down the rest of the water.

“Looks like you needed something to drink as well.” The new cigarette bounced in Kili’s mouth.

“Yep. What was mom yelling about?”

“The usual. ‘Kili, you chased out your brother! How could you?’ and all that shit.”

A silence fell over them. Looking around them or down to the ground as Kili smoked.

“Do you think… it would be better if he was still around?”

“Hard to say… but I miss him.”

Kili tossed the cigarette down and stomped on it. “...I barely remember him, his face, the sound of his voice… he wouldn’t put up with this shit, he kept mom in check.”

“He kept everyone in check.” Fili smirked.

“Everyone but Tauriel.”

Fili’s smile fell, straight into a scowl. That fucking bitch… 

“Just thought… hey, the pretty babysitter likes me. You know?”

“Kili, you don’t have to-”

“I need to talk about it!” Kili snapped. “Everyone gets to talk about their crap and I get to shut up!! So please! Please, just let me fucking rant and turn off your ears…”

Fili held out his hand. “I’m going to listen but you owe me a cig for it.”

“Fine… got your inhaler though?”

“Yeah.”

Kili handed over his pack and his lighter to Fili. He looked up at the blue sky, “Fuck… how many years has it been?”

“Who the fuck cares? You were twelve when Thorin found out and it had been going on for years.”

“... which makes finding any sort of girlfriend fucked up. ...Mom keeps telling me I need to find some girl to settle down with and have kids of my own… but…” He sighed. “Why am I even talking about her? She wasn’t even fucking arrested because the law wouldn’t listen to us. Thorin managed to chase her sick ass out of town…”

“You’re probably remembering her because we’re talking about Thorin.”

“Yeah…” Kili’s voice broke a little as he continued to look at the sky. “I miss him..”

“He kept you safe… I’ve been doing a pretty shit job of that… I’m sorry baby bro.” Fili grabbed Kili, pulling him close and hugging him tight. “I’m sorry.”

Kili gave a choked sob, not sure if it was okay to hug his brother back or not. It was so used to being forced away from everyone, rarely touched with anything positive that he didn’t know what to do.

Why was life shut shit? And why did he keep living it?

Because he still had Fili.

He was still around because of Fili.


End file.
